Not to be confused with The Oxford English Dictionary, this is a reference book for the incurably cynical. Containing hundreds of definitions of a corny or inappropriate nature, it is the ideal gift for that person who hankers after the Good Old Days before political correctness, and who thinks a damn good hiding is still the best cure for anxiety.

If you are easily offended, you should probably buy a proper dictionary; though that won’t make you feel any less depressed about the modern world. But, let’s be honest, what could?