From Korea to Ohio, Starbucks to the local dive bar, "The Noah Cicero Bathroom Reader" is the ultimate book of feeling shitty and taking shits.

Justin remembered shitting himself in America. He had shit himself in the morning driving to class. He was driving to school and couldn't make it. Three minutes before he got to a parking space, boom, his ass exploded into his pants. It was wet and sad. He started crying. He was a thirty-year-old man in his car, crying with shit in his pants.

The other time was horrible. He was with his sister. They were coming home from Chili's at night. He began sweating. He kept telling his sister to drive faster. Four minutes before he could have made it to a toilet, at a red light, he got out of the car and ran behind some trees, pushed his pants down, then shit, but he had never squat-shit in his life and got shit on the back of his pants. It was horrible. He began crying. He felt defeated by life whenever he shit himself.