"They don't seem to understand, don't seem to grasp that we are not just ordinary children. We Are Gonks, a proud and noble tribe. We have our own rules, our own honour, our own song that no-one can remember the words to. They can't boss us around like that"

Fifteen-year-old Morag Narmo really doesn't want to go to school any more. She and her siblings would rather feed their heads into the waste-disposal than "do the academical" . So they are all stunned when their parents whisk them out of school and embark on a home-schooling experiment. But with five children, two unruly pets and some extremely eccentric attitudes, the educational experiment soon descends into chaos...

Witty, razor-sharp and laugh-out-loud funny, The Chronicles of Narmo shows us how before Caitlin Moran knew How to be a Woman, she had to find out How to be A Girl.