This historic book may have numerous typos and missing text. Purchasers can usually download a free scanned copy of the original book (without typos) from the publisher. Not indexed. Not illustrated. 1913 edition. Excerpt: ... MISTER KEAZLE'S EPITAPH Foster the tinker traversed Maine From Elkinstown to Kittery Point, With a rattling pack and a rattling brain, And a general air of " out of joint." A gaunt old chap with a shambling gait, A battered hat, and rusty clothes, With grimy digits in sorry state, And a smooch on the end of his big red nose. That was the way that Foster went, -- Mixture of shrewdness and folly blent, Mending the pots and the pans as ordered, But leaving the leak in his nob unsoldered. But Foster the tinker was no one's fool; He fired an answer every time. 'Twas either a saw or proverb or rule, Or else a bit of home-made rhyme. And while he knocked at a pot or a pan And puffed the coals of his little blaze, He was ready and primed for the jocose man Who thought that the tinker was easy to phase. It chanced that Foster stopped one night With a man who thought a master sight Of being esteemed as smart's a weasel -- Man by the name of Obed Keazle. And he pronged at Foster the evening through While the folks were having a merry laugh; And they laughed the most when he said, "Now you Compose me a good nice epitaph, And your lodging here shan't cost a cent." So Foster snapped at the chance and said He would have it ready before he went, And would make one verse ere they went to bed. So Keazle listened with deep delight While he heard the guileless chap recite, With his head a-cock like a huge canary, This sample of his obituary: Thus he begun Verse number one: "A man there was who died of late, Whom angels did impatient wait, With outstretched arms and smiles of love To bear him to the Realms Above." Foster the tinker slept that night On a feather tick that was three feet thick, And Keazle attended in calm delight To warm the bed with a nice...